Hope Springs Eternal

Mary stood in her sunroom enjoying her paintings as the sun caught their colours flowing through each window pane. She loved this time of day when each painting on glass was at its best. As she gazed upon them enjoying the warmth of the early morning sun she caught the familiar sound of an old friend she hadn’t heard from in a while. It was the harbinger of spring, the Robin. He was back and in her big berry tree out front where he came every year to build his home. Oh how she loved the sights and sounds of the little family that grew there!
Mary dressed herself and her dogs for their morning trek. It was so bright and cheery and Mary was delighted to see and hear the coo of the brown Morning Dove as well as a big bright Blue jay . The final smile to her face was brought by the coupling of two brown sparrows conceptualizing their love for one another in late winter’s snow. Ah! Spring was in the air!
It had been a tough couple of winter weeks filled with anticipation and fears. Following the news that her ex-husband was going to send her money, Mary began having chest and arm pains. It started at a local Wal-Mart. The pain had become so great she had to take her coat off and have her husband hold her purse. Both seemed unbearably heavy. The pain lasted for a few days resulting in a hurried visit to the walk-in clinic where Mary met a wonderful doctor who seemed to have experienced everything she had felt and was going through!
Mary had left his office with a prescription for nitroglycerin and tears in her eyes feeling deep gratitude that God had sent her someone who had identified with her in her suffering. That week Mary went for blood work and a stress test. The emotional upheaval during all this time was combated by the constant and faithful attention of her husband, Robin, who went with her for her stress test.
The results that came back only confirmed what Mary knew: she had very high cholesterol and possible angina. She was now faced with dieting, walking more and taking cholesterol pills! Because there had been many diets in the past Mary had run out of steam a long time ago. The only thing that was different this time was she was motivated for her life! Well, God had asked her if she wanted healing and if she would let him do whatever it takes. She figured this was it.
The doctor’s diagnosis and the resulting changes to her diet brought a sense of relief to Mary. It wasn’t that she was any better but she could now work on feeling better. The sight of the birds and the bright morning sun added to her cheer. Oddly, the thing that should have brought the greatest joy arrived in the mail without any fanfare. Mary had opened the envelope the mailman brought containing four checks dated one week apart. Disappointedly there had only been a note from her accountant, nothing from her ex. But why should there be? He didn’t owe her anything. To Mary the checks were another harbinger that the past was past and Peter, her ex, had kept his promise. They could both close the door to that chapter of their life.
It didn’t take long before her present situation reminded of this present stage of life. Oddly, the difficulty began with an argument with her present husband which started on Valentine’s Day, of all days! Robin and Mary had exchanged gifts but Mary had been disappointed at what Robin had bought for her. Despite going to church, despite singing and praising God Mary could not feel any better. After church Mary had gotten so angry that she had to go for a ride because she couldn’t face Robin. However, Mary realized just how angry she was, not at Robin, but herself. Why? Because Mary was 56 and felt her behavior was not very mature. “When would she grow up”she said to herself. As a result, she spent the better part of an hour just driving and praying and crying out to God. The drive had been good therapy. Mary had wanted to speak the truth to Robin but knew she had to speak the truth in love. Too many times tactless words had caused her grief with him and others. Too many times she had said nothing to avoid causing anymore grief. However, she knew if her marriage was to be healthy she needed to share what bothered her.
Mary came back home after her drive. Mary was able to speak out and she knew the grace of God had blessed her with strength and courage to say what needed to be said – and yes, with love. Robin, for his part, opened up to Mary like he had never done before. It was the most wonderful moment for Mary. Mary had told Robin that communication was like sex for a woman. That was the best sex she had ever had! The past was past but Mary realized she wished she had learned to confront in this healthy way in her past. However, it didn’t matter now. What mattered was today.
Mary knew she could not change yesterday but only the moment. This opportunity to confront did not end with Robin because it was immediately followed up with a need to reprove the leader at the food bank. Something unsavory had caught Mary’s eye going on at the food bank. It was a delicate subject.
It was one Mary checked herself on: who was she to speak up, wasn’t she judging? Mary had only volunteered her for a few months and felt new. However, the morning’s reading from Leviticus 19:17 had suggested you should “confront your neighbors directly so you will not be held guilty for their crimes”. The various translations she read through indicated to Mary that you were as guilty as the offender of the sin if you did not say anything to them!
After a good long walk of prayer and praise Mary had interrupted her jaunt to stop at the food bank. Tim was there and she drew him aside. Tim was obliging and offered Mary a seat in his office. Mary was grateful that Tim was a humble man willing to listen and deal with the situation. She admired and respected him greatly for all he had achieved and she told him so. Mary was relieved to learn that she was not the first one to approach Tim about the problem she witnessed. He had heard it before from someone who had quit without telling him. He had heard about it after the fact! This relief was combined with a gratitude from having talked to her husband about this because he had drawn a line for her between rebuking someone and correcting them. Her role was not to correct the situation just point it out.
Carrying this in her heart had been a powerful tool to allow Tim to see it was up to him to deal with it and being the wise man that he was Mary knew he could do it. There talk ended with Mary giving Tim a hug and Tim, for his part, indicating he would deal with the situation. As Mary walked the rest of her way home she reflected on what a difference speaking the truth in love made. Instead of remaining silent as she had in her first marriage and so often with many people Mary realized the mature thing was to speak up. Would it have changed things in her past if she had of spoken up? Mary realized she didn’t know and didn’t care. Although Mary knew about speaking the truth in love back then she had not the mature ability to carry it out at that time. It was okay. It was not meant to be. What was past was past. Some revelations and abilities we get now, Mary realized, were not for our past. She knew God had her here for a purpose. She would not be here perhaps if she had of communicated differently.
With great remorse Mary knew now that much of the problems with her first husband were because she had remained silent. They call it being “passive aggressive”. How that must of drove her first husband crazy because she saw the same behavior in her second husband! She knew how it infuriated her when she received the silent treatment! What goes around comes around, Mary though, amused at her situation. However, Mary knew and was confident that as God had redeemed so many things in her life she was redeeming her of this. It would take more of the hard work of speaking in love but she could do it. Robin proved he could too! They would do it! Hope rose in her heart that had been ignited by the first Robin of the season and now through her very own Robin.
“Oh how I love spring,” Mary said excitedly to herself. Hope always springs eternal, she thought. Yes and this was spring, for sure. Then smiling, Mary lifted her ear once again to hear the Robin singing to her with his own unique dialect. Mary felt a deep sense of awareness – it was all about the dialog of love, like hers and Robins. This was no clanging cymbal! It was one of the three things that would endure – faith, hope and love!