Whatever It Takes

Mary took a breath. It was not a breath of relief, a sigh; which it could have been considering the earlier events of the day. You see, that morning one of Mary’s precious cats, Fluffy, got startled and frightened by something. In a brief instant, he had come tumbling down the stairs, got his nail caught in the stair treads, dropped to the floor, and began to shake and convulse as if in a seizure. The doctor’s reassurance that Fluffy had just panicked and responded thusly would have been sufficient for a sigh of relief. But Mary’s exhalation had nothing to do with Fluffy or the relief that he was alright.
Rather, Mary’s breathing was what you might call “laborious”. For two days she had struggled with a “heaviness” in her left arm that was painful at times, as well as twinges in her heart area. At one point, Mary had pressed her fingers beneath her sweater to fill the beat of her heart. It seemed fast but Mary wasn’t sure if it was too fast because she had nothing to compare it to. All she knew was that something was wrong. She would have to phone the doctor and make an appointment.
Mary hated that thought because she avoided doctors like the plague. She had heard too many horror stories about people getting worse after visiting them. She had a moment of total recall earlier when she had been doing dishes. She had thought of her friend Bobbie. It occurred to Mary that many of the things Bobbie suffered with were part and parcel of what Mary had endured the last few days. Bobbie had slowed down and found it difficult to walk to Mary’s store where Bobbie had helped Wednesdays and Saturdays. Mary felt this same problem and even doing house work and small errands had become very tiring.
As well, Bobby had difficulty breathing. She had gone for stress tests. She needed a double bypass. Mary looked up from her dish that she had wiped over and over again. The pain in her shoulder was excruciating. What was happening to her? Bobbie had died a month after her operation. Would Mary have to deal with the same thing? Angina ran in the family.
Mary’s own mother had angina and had a stroke when she was 75. She was always taking these little tiny pills that dissolved in your mouth. Would Mary have to take them? It would be far better, she thought, then having an operation.
More questions than answers filled Mary’s head. But nothing would be solved with wasting time worrying about it. She would pray about it, that was for sure, as well as go and make an appointment with the doctor. She needed a physical anyways. Mary gave another sigh, this time, one of frustration and fear.
“Oh boy”, Mary thought, “what next?” Then it occurred to Mary that perhaps this whole physical problem might, just might be, in response to the two questions God had so recently asked Mary: would she be willing to let God do whatever it took to get healing for her weight problem and did she want healing. She had said yes to both questions.
Certainly, if she went to the doctor and found out she needed to go on a special diet and lose some weight she would probably be motivated considering how she felt now. Mary would definitely put her whole heart into looking after herself if that was an option rather than going for any surgery. She didn’t want to end up like Bobbie.
Bobbie had been 56, the same age as Mary now. Mary knew many people died often times around this sensitive age period.
Seeing Fluffy convulse on the floor this morning and watching Robin holding the poor cat’s body as it shook was a memory engraved in Mary’s mind. She didn’t want to be a horrible memory for Robin to have to deal with. He had already found one wife dead. Mary didn’t want to add to his grief.
Nor was Mary ready to go. Oh, she had made her peace with God and given her life to him years ago but Mary had no present will and needed one. She wanted to make sure Robin was not left in the lurch if something happened. Mary wanted everything to be set up so if something did occur he could just go to the bank and a lawyer. She didn’t want him to worry about anyone else getting what rightfully belonged to him.
Was she jumping the gun? Mary didn’t think so. Mary had gone through the loss of her mother and there had been many problems despite the presence of a will! Mary wanted it to be an easy transition for Robin if something happened to her. She loved Robin so much. Mary couldn’t bear to see him suffering any more than he had to when she died. There, she had said it! She could easily die.
“Is that where everything was heading? Certainly, we all eventually die, thought Mary. “Would this sickness be the “whatever” that would heal Mary or would it be what would issue in her last goodbyes? God, there was another thought and she didn’t want to go there. She needed to focus on the here and now and getting to the doctor on Monday and making an appointment.
Mary sat back and rubbed her shoulder. How life had changed for her in such a few days. She was scared. However, as Mary sat there she took another breath. She realized with a deep certainty that whatever happened, her life was in God’s hands. Mary knew that. Even the breath she breathed was God’s to give or take away.
Thoughts of Fluffy upstairs reminded Mary it was time to go and check in on the little dear. Poor thing, the veterinarian had weighed him today. He was a plump 19 and half pounds. Mary knew he was a bit over weight. All of her seven animals were “healthy” if you could call it that. Mary laughed to herself, a laugh that turned to weariness. Would be a tough road ahead? Mary didn’t know. Perhaps, it was all just her imagination and she would be fine tomorrow. She would take one day at a time. Tomorrow was Sunday, a day of rest. She decided to start that rest right now. It was too much to worry about and perhaps nothing at all. Mary turned her thoughts upwards and walked up the stairs to see her beloved cat. She rubbed her shoulder as she went recalling what she read the other day that:
If it looks like there is no way in the natural, trust God to make a way. He'll part the waters if He has to! He'll do WHATEVER it takes to lead and guide you in the path of victory that He has prepared for you!
Perhaps this was the path of victory after all. “Who knows”, thought Mary, whatever it is I will trust you Lord, no matter what! “ Mary was happier with this last reflection because Joel Olsten had been talking about Moses and the deliverance of the Israelites from Egypt. They finally did make it to the Promised Land. Perhaps this is where she was going. Mary didn’t know. What she did know was God was able to do whatever it would take to deliver her and to heal her. Alleulia! Mary cried, Alleluia!