An Answer to Prayer

Monday morning presented beautiful weather to drive into work. The air was fresh and breathable. The corn and soybean were green beyond imagination. The corn stalks stood at least five feet tall and the view was breathtaking. It would be a good harvest.
As Mary and Robin travelled along conversing about the view they prayed as usual for their individual concerns. On Mary’s list was the desire to know God’s will for her starting a course on co-dependency. She was unsure if she should go forward with it as they may be in the middle of a move if they sold their house. Mary was glad to give it over to God because she was tired of trying to figure it out herself.
Later at home she felt the desire to clean out her studio and pack her paints. She felt it was a good time to store away all her supplies she had collected for her paintings on glass. She felt God urge her to do this. Lately, she had been taking one step at a time as to what to clean, what to go through, what to get rid of for the prepared move. Today she had decided the studio must be cleaned out.
She packed three large Rubbermaids full of stuff, took four bags of goodies to the St. Vincent de Paul and threw out some paint bottles that were almost empty anyways. She then took pictures of the white knock down cupboards and put them on Kijiji hoping someone might buy them. In the back of her mind was the thought that if she did run the course she could use the studio if her table was the only piece of furniture in the room. Selling the cupboards would free up a lot of sitting room, that’s for sure.
The day continued with nothing more out of the ordinary transpiring. Despite listening to several scriptural chapters from John and listening to three or four speakers on the radio while she packed Mary didn’t get any immediate reply from God.
The last thing Mary did before her trek into Windsor was read the end of the 9th chapter on The Co-dependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps. As she finished up she shed a few tears recognizing that the person she had harmed the most and needed to forgive the most was herself. She had never trusted herself or God and would have to put forth a great effort to do this.
As she thought about her inability to trust herself she recognized perhaps she was exhibiting this attitude right now as she had begun to second guess herself once again. You see, there had been no response from any potential buyers for the house. As a result, Mary thought all the worst things about herself and even God; maybe she hadn’t heard from God, may she wasn’t following him and on and on it went. This was not good. She believed she trusted and followed God daily so at this point she must have faith that she heard from him and that he was leading her.
As a result, on the way in to church to pick up Robin at 4pm Mary felt a desire to thank and praise God. She wanted to show her faith in God and herself and praising God seemed the fit thing to do. She just felt grateful for what God was doing. She thanked him for the cottage and the sale of the house. Oh, yes, she knew it wasn’t sold yet but believed in faith that it was a done deal.
By the time Mary got to the church she felt light hearted and happy. Joy filled her to the brim. Robin had a good day himself and so the ride home was delightful. The whole day seemed to be ending on a wonderful note despite Mary not hearing from God.
It was while she was sitting on the couch mindlessly watching some Second World War documentary that Mary felt God’s presence. It wasn’t in an audible voice nor anything said on TV. Rather it was just an awareness. Mary realized that months ago Robin had suggested she close the door on chaplaincy. At the time she felt he was right and she had to let go of the burden of the loss of that ministry. However, as she sat there she recognized that perhaps it was time to let go of having a course and perhaps even doing counselling in her home. After all, that would be putting closure on it for good, wouldn’t it? Further, there would be no room in their new home for an office. The new cottage represented new beginnings in more than one way!
As Mary sat on the couch she felt a quiet peace inside. She must let it all go. Anyone else might not see this as making much sense especially if they knew that God had told Mary that he would restore her as a counsellor. But it made all the sense in the world to Mary. She knew in the past she had let go of things completely and only then could God work.
Mary had been in charge these last years with trying to create a career for herself. She hadn’t made a whole lot of money but it gave her a sense of some importance if only a little. Perhaps it was time to let go of this control and let God. Hadn’t God been showing her through the book that she didn’t trust him to provide for her? Perhaps this was all about that provision. At any rate Mary felt a great peace within herself that it was time to close up shop. That meant she had her answer to prayer: she was not to run the course. She would let go of the counselling, as well.

It was a new day with new beginnings. She was a new creation, old things had passed away and all things were new. There was a tinge of sadness at the thought of letting go yet relief. She felt she had been playing a futile game with herself as the only player! Mary didn’t know how this would work out. However, despite the sadness was a relief to put aside all her efforts. She had to. She had to close this chapter. A new one could never begin until she did.

Tomorrow Mary would have to phone the newspaper and discontinue her advertisement for counselling. She felt scared at this thought as it was frightening to let go. Deciding to trust God was not an easy thing, she realized. But she would take one step at a time and one day at a time. She had received her answer to prayer and so would work at this closure business as each opportunity presented itself. For now, she was thankful that God had shown up.

“Thank you, Lord” she sighed. “You are a good God and I will trust you and your promise to always do good for me.” Finally after another moments thought she whispered : “And Lord, I will trust myself that I have heard you too! Night, Lord!” With that Mary left her prayers and wandered off to bed.

Postscript: later that day Mary sold all the cupboards from the studio which she had emptied of her paints supplies! As well, the agent phoned and said they wanted to have a showing on Wednesday. Mary was delighted she had listened to the leading of the spirit and had cleaned the studio of everything but a pretty sitting area!