Mary sat back and reflected on this home of hers that she moved into when she came from Toronto. Once they had been married Robin had moved in with Mary. Though it was a new life for the both of them the past came with Mary. As a result, the house had been a place Mary had done a lot of grieving. With the grieving came healing. It was only within the last months that Mary had decided to stop grieving. She made a choice to let it go. The reminder of this decision came as Robin was cleaning the top of the fridge. He pulled down from its hiding place some paper with Mary’s writing on it.
She had squiggled:
I am sewing my losses/ my grief on this day as a seed. God is going to give me a harvest. Therefore, I release the grief to Jesus.
She remembered that day she had decided to let go and release her grief to Jesus. She had to let it go. It was not helping her to look back at Peter or what happened. Mary could no longer hold on to the past life. It was over and done with. And now, as Mary, considered her decision to sew her losses as a seed she wondered if buying the cottage and selling this house was all a part of the harvest. It seemed a lot of things besides her ex sending her the money for the cottage way back in January may be showing forth their fruits right now.
Further, it seemed to Mary that Robin never felt that this house they lived in was really his because it came from Mary’s finances. However, since that time Robin had worked hard and invested himself and his livelihood into looking after Mary and this home. As they signed the papers for the cottage Mary realized this would be Robin and her home. This was a good thing. Robin was entitled to have his name on this deed. Someday either his descendants or Mary’s would inherit this place. It would be something they created together and would pass on. Mary was glad for this. Robin deserved the best because he was the best. God had restored the years the locust had stolen from her in a marriage partner; though Robin had his faults Mary knew she couldn’t do much better than she had.
Robin had put up with her these last seven years of her grieving. He had stood by her silently most of the time, holding her when she needed it and loving and supporting her through it all. Mary thanked God many times a day for this gift of her husband.
So Mary realized that as Robin was part of God’s restoration for her life so perhaps was this cottage. Eventually, the restoration as a counsellor would come too though at present it seemed Mary was moving further from that goal!
Why there was no room in the tiny cottage to start up a practise again. There might only be room enough for Robin and Mary to share one office never mind have a private one with a private entrance for her business. But it was alright. From day one Mary had been attracted like a magnet to this new domicile. All things were possible with God no matter what we see, thought Mary. Her faith rested in God’s ability and not her inability to see beyond the limitations of this new tiny home.
Mary sat back and smiled. It seemed that this time in her life was all about reparations. God had promised recompenses. It appeared His promises of restoration as a counsellor and this gift of a new dwelling tied in together somehow in that end to be compensated for the past losses. Mary didn’t know the how of it yet but she believed it. Life had thrown her a few fast balls, she had been struck down but not out!
She had got back up and started all over again. Making the relatively recent decision to sew the losses as a seed must be coming to fruition now. It was a good time, this harvest season. And it was a good God Mary served who had promised her a covenant with her to always do good for her. She delighted herself with this thought as she felt the warmth of His love encompass her, reassuring her of the reality of this truth. “Thank you”, she whispered, ‘thank you for keeping your word, thank you, thank you, thank you!”.
No comments:
Post a Comment