His Deer Presence

Early Monday morning Mary quietly read from Jeremiah 31:3 of God’s love: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; with unfailing love I have drawn you to myself”. It was a reassurance she needed this morning as her soul was a little unsettled. If she had only reflected on the moment and God's love she would have recognized the condemnation and guilt that had come upon her earlier for what it was. But she hadn’t.
It all started the day before during the Sunday service and the Vision class that followed. Mary and Robin were enrolled in the later. In the service the Pastor spoke about the church’s vision, the importance of unity and accomplishment of that vision coming through working together. One of the comments that struck Mary was the need for unity because otherwise the House is divided and there is a fall from influence and authority. At this point in the sermon Mary had felt condemned. Satan had attacked a weak spot: Mary had always felt if she had been doing things right she and Robin wouldn’t be suffering financially and she would have influence and authority.
However, Satan’s attack didn’t end here. During the Vision class another Pastor gave a masterful discussion on being broken and surrendered to God. The sermon for all intents and purposes was right on the nose but again the enemy whispered in Mary’s ear doubts and fears about who and what she should or could not do.
As a result, by the time Monday morning rolled around Mary hesitated to assess the truth of what had been said because she felt the worst of herself and feared she could never accomplish what she summarized from Sunday’s messages: that she would have to surrender to those ministers in that church and succumb to whatever test they put her through. Having gone through much abuse and rejection by different authority figures in her past Mary had kept her distance when it came to this Assembly. So now Mary’s mind was plagued with guilt and shame and worst of all a sense of hopelessness that she could not possibly attempt to be at unity with these people.
In her heart Mary was able to admit to God that she had sinned and resisted getting close to this group of pastors. She could go that far but knew if she was to repent then she had to turn around and go the other way. In her mind, in this instance she was to be in unity by humbling herself to these church people and trust them.
Now that was repentance she felt incapable of tackling. How could she trust them knowing her past history? So she was left feeling sad that she might never accomplish this demand especially if her salvation depended on it. Mary felt resisting what she thought meant unity for her would be displeasing God.
So on the way to work that morning with Robin Mary shared her sin: that she had been running from this church and that she felt the message of unity yesterday indicated she had to be one with these people and work with them.
It was in the middle of this discussion that Robin interrupted her: “But you are to be in unity with the Trinity first. If you look to men they are always going to be in disagreement. Let God lead!”Mary felt she had been hit over the head - and she had - with the truth. She was so blown away by it she had to remain silent for a minute before she said, “Yes! That is it. I have to trust in God. I have to be in unity and be led by the Holy Spirit. It is not about me trying to unite with the individuals in the church but unite with and be led by the Holy Spirit. He may lead me amongst them to work with them but it is that unity with the Trinity first before any other!”
Mary felt a great relief off her shoulders as the burden had been so heavy. She could trust in God and walk with Him where He led her. She was not alone. The burden wasn’t hers to carry nor was the feat hers to accomplish alone.
As Mary left Robin at the church that morning she smiled to herself at the great wisdom God had imparted to her husband. Mary’s mood had changed considerably just because she had been honest and open with her husband. Talk about unity! God had showed up and spoken and to think: it came through the words of her husband!
Mary‘s contemplation of their discussion continued as she drove home along the back roads of Essex county. Despite there being a lot of flat land there were some more hilly areas especially near the River Canard where it ran through the bushy backwoods. As Mary was driving through one such area she suddenly slowed her car and watched breathlessly as a deer stepped timidly out onto the road. Mary gasped with excitement. The beautiful gentle creature stood looking at her. As Mary sat mesmerized in her car she was even more delighted when a doe came out from among the trees and stood alongside the first deer. As they slowly moved across the road eyeing Mary as they went she was overjoyed in her heart when not one more but four more deer walked across gracefully in front of her to the other side of the road. Driving up closer to where they had just stood Mary watched to where they had gone and eyed them increase their speed and lift their legs in a gallop to fly up the side of a hill.
Mary’s joy turned to weeping at the thought of God’s loving presence and how it warmed her heart so with this sight. She was reminded of a scripture and whispered: “as the deer pants for running waters so my soul yearns for you, Lord.” How perfect the whole picture had been and even lovelier was another scripture that came to mind: that signs and wonders follow. Mary felt these deer were a sign and wonder that confirmed the wisdom Robin shared.
Part of the answer to Mary’s Christmas present to know God’s will for her life had been to realize she had been anointed to spread the good news to the poor, afflicted and broken-hearted. Sunday’s message directed the congregation to be in unity with the church and its vision. It seemed after her discussion with Robin that this message was just another confirmation of what God was showing her was His will for her life; she was to spread the good news and this was, in fact, united with the church's view to win the generations to Christ! Mary smiled to herself as she thought about her Christmas present this year...and those deer showing up: they really were His deer presence! How awesome was that, yes awesome indeed!