The Fitful Night

Mary had been up all night. Her left arm had throbbed and pained her to the point of keeping her awake. She had gotten up two or three times and finally went downstairs to get the nitroglycerin. However, she did not use it. She felt if the pain in her chest had of reoccurred she would have dispensed some. Her husband, Robin, had lay there sound asleep through the whole event. Mary felt alone.
That feeling brought back memories of her mother. Why, you might ask? Before Mary’s mother passed away her mother had 3 prayers that she prayed. Mary had an awesome witness of her mother’s faith when she saw that God had answered all three prayers. One of these petitions was that someone would be with her when she died. Mary delighted that God had answered this prayer. Mary had been a witness to her mother’s departure from this life. She had not been alone.
Now, ten years later, Mary realized why her mother had prayed thusly. Mary, herself, had experienced being alone. Mary knew she should have awakened her husband. Unfortunately, Mary wasn’t sure if all this pain was her heart or not or if it was serious enough to warrant waking Robin up. Mary didn’t know if she should only take the spray when both arm and heart hurt or just if her heart pained her.
Handling this situation alone was not the first time Mary felt so isolated dealing with a problem. Way back years ago when she had returned to university after so many years away Mary had to grapple with gaining a degree on her own. She knew what it felt to be alone then. She recalled walking through the halls of York University encompassed by the press of the crowds and the hum of people’s voices mixed together yet feeling totally isolated amongst it all.
Now she knew why her mother prayed her prayer. It was not a nice feeling. Mary realized she had brought about her own isolation last night. She had not wanted to bother Robin. Perhaps she should have. Now here Mary sat, wearied from the night’s events, and her arm throbbing ever so slightly. How would she get through the stress test today? Ugh, what a thought! During the long night the story of a King in the Old Testament came to mind. He was told he was going to die. King Hezekiah had petitioned God and God answered his prayer and he was allowed to live 15 more years! Like Mary’s mother his faith and prayers got him through.
Mary questioned herself: did she want to pray to get better? The questioned begged another: Was she willing to sacrifice? Mary knew she would possibly have to give up all those goodies that made her overweight and increased her (no doubt) cholesterol levels? In the long run, Mary thought to herself, we are all alone. We must face our Maker on our own. No one could join us. Yet was she ready to go? Mary felt she had a lot to live for – if it was possible that all she desired deep in her heart could be fulfilled. As well, God had given her such a wonderful husband who loved her and blessed her every day. She was just getting to know him and trust him after these 7 years of marriage.
Despite the wonderful gift of her husband Mary still struggled with all the questions she faced.
It was a tough issue to resolve and the questions remained unanswered. She would go to the stress test today and see what happened. Perhaps that event would help Mary to see if this was serious enough to event warrant praying for deliverance. Mary left her pensive moment and travelled the upper stairs to dress. Only time would tell, only time…