The Closed Chapter

A lovely ride to work the next morning with Robin included a conversation over the word from God and the truths from the book Mary had been reading. Robin had listened intently as Mary shared her experience. He nodded his head as he listened and said nothing.
However, after much thought he opened up to reveal that he felt the past was the past and was a closed chapter. Robin questioned Mary “It was over 10 years ago. When will you stop grieving?” Robin had brought up something that was true, of course, and it confirmed something God had shown her while she had been out on her morning walk earlier in the day. God had allowed Mary to see that she was indeed a chaplain now, ministering to many people through counselling, through friends, and all those who crossed her path. She had healed many, evicted some demons from the souls of the distressed, and had spread the gospel to those she met.
Mary realized something; her chaplaincy didn’t look like she initially thought it should appear. But she was doing God’s work. She needed to put closure on the past and get on with it. Did this mean she hadn’t heard from God? No, in fact Mary knew God had spoken. But Mary realized how God would work and restore things was beyond her comprehension.
Another revelation occurred to Mary: she had been grieving for 10 years over her past. She had been powerless on her own to let it go. Mary realized the area of her powerlessness was greater than just the ability to help herself deal with being restored. Mary needed God’s grace and power to deal with this grief, an area of unmanageability, Beattie’s book spoke on. Her grief had become unmanageable. It was always there reminding her of what she lost. But then she didn’t focus on what she had and all the blessings of her life right now.
As Mary pondered all that had happened she watched the landscape green with ripeness. The harvest was near, the wheat was already being gathered, and all around her life thrived. To her right she viewed horses and colts that filled a large acreage of land with a pond where many ducks and geese gathered to dip their feathers. Herons flew overhead and a rabbit almost got itself run over as Mary’s distractions changed her focus. At the last minute the puffy white tailed bunny skipped back into the bushy ditch and Mary breathed a sigh of relief.
She drew another breath realizing she had surrendered her life yesterday and admitted her powerlessness. This relinquishment of grieving the past was just another area she needed to let God deal with because she knew she needed his help.
Perhaps, Mary thought to herself, the best way to deal with it was to recall it to mind, write it down, and bury it or burn it. The latter would help to put closure on that period. She needed to do it and knew somehow that facing what happened once again might help her finally let it go – with God’s help, of course. With that thought in mind Mary continued her journey and soon found herself pulling into her driveway at home.
Mary would have to do a few things first to free up time to journal; like make a salad for dinner, see a client that was coming and perhaps do a bit of shopping later on. Of course there was the book she was reading and she didn’t want to ignore it. She realized as she spoke she might be looking for excuses to avoid dealing with this issue. But Mary knew she must be kind to herself, as well.
She would close this chapter in due time but it would be by the power and grace of God. Mary thanked her saviour as she put her keys and purse away. She would get on with her day and see where God took her. It would be a good day and His wonders He would unfold. He who opened doors would also close them. With that assurance Mary went on with her day.