The Yoke of Slavery is Broken

Despite Mary and Robin being on holidays God’s healing process did not stop that week. (It never does, you know!) This concept of feeling guilty seemed to encompass everything. Mary wrote in her journal: “I feel guilty if I spend. I feel guilty if I run out of money. I feel guilty because I am not working. I feel guilty that I am not looking for a job. I feel guilty Robin is making wages and I am not.”As Mary reflected on all these burdens of guilt she recognized they weren’t hers to carry. She gave over the burdens to God . She confessed her sin of trying to be God and carry all her problems herself. She asked God to forgive her for this and surrendered this problem over to God to deal with it. As the week progressed God began to deal with this issue showing her scripture passages and situations where this guilt was so prevalent.
Streams in the Desert spoke into Mary’s heart that week about the darkness she had been wandering around in. She had been in darkness about her carrying the guilt of their debt and had tried to help herself find the light in their financial problems. Her guilt had led her to trusting in herself to find a way out without trusting in God and relying on Him.
Mary reflected on this idea. She asked herself in her meditations: “How many ‘ways out’ have I tried in this last year to escape my problems and my guilt? I tried buying a cottage, buying a house in Windsor – either with no success; budgeting until I am blue in the face, scrimping and saving. These ‘ways’, she wrote, made me more proud than anything. These ways have not seen me out of my debt nor relived my guilt!”
One particular morning the words from Isaiah 50:7 whispered encouragement to Mary. It suggested if she made the Sovereign Lord her help than she would not be dismayed, confounded or disgraced. The passage went on to indicate that God who justifies was near. Since God was near who would oppose her or contend with her? Mary paraphrased the scriptures and made it personal: “where my enemies and adversaries are, let them appear and let us stand together . . . the Sovereign Lord is on my side and will help me. Who is he that condemns me and declares me guilty?”That last line blew Mary away. Mary realized the one who condemned and declared her guilty was herself! God was on her side and would fight for her! Talk about a battle of the mind!
Mary realized her only duty was to recognize the guilt game going on in her mind and give the burden of it and the situation over to God. This God was the Sovereign Lord. Sovereign meant one possessing supreme power and supreme authority. “Well, Mary laughed sadly to herself, I haven’t allowed you that much, have I? I have been too busy trying to figure out things myself.”
Later in the day when she and Robin went out for a ride to a Christian Book store Mary was delighted to find many pretty things for Christmas. But she was bolted upright in her thoughts when she read from a pretty Christmas card “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given. And the government will rest upon his shoulders!” (Isaiah 9:6) This government, it went on to say, would be a “peaceful” government [that] would never end! It was a zinger that hit Mary right between the eyes. The Sovereign Lord who possessed all power should be carrying her burden around and governing her life. It should be a peaceful government. Boy, had she screwed up! But Mary was glad for these intimacies she was learning about her God. The promises would help her let go every time she tried to carry a burden of guilt which was not hers to carry.
Later at home when Mary looked at this passage from Isaiah more closely she read “the people who walk in darkness will see a great light”. Mary laughed to herself and shook her head. Hadn’t she been in the dark about her feeling guilty over everything? What a burden! What a yoke of slavery.
It was then that she read from Isaiah 9:4 “.... God will break the yoke of their slavery from their shoulders and lift the burden [of guilt] from them”. Mary sat their quietly stunned. What Jesus had done 2,000 years ago was here prophesized so many hundreds of years earlier. Mary felt the hope rise in here that God was not only on her side but as Saviour held complete government over her life. This Jesus had taken upon himself her sin. Why then, she asked herself, did she continue to feel guilty about anything and everything? Boy, what a burden.
But then the words of Jesus were whispered sweetly and kindly into her ears: come to me, Mary, you who are weary. I will give you rest, come with your burden and take my yoke instead. It was with great relief and ease Mary handed over her burden and decided to trust God and take His yoke. She needed rest from this burden anyways for she had beaten herself up so many times and never saw it quite like she saw it now.
The very next day Mary had the opportunity to walk down to the St. Vincent de Paul while Robin went for an eye test. Though it had snowed in the morning the sun came out in the afternoon and it was quite balmy. Mary was too well dressed for the weather with her big fur hat and scarf and gloves. She took them off as she meandered through the store looking at different things. While she was there she saw a coat she liked, a ski jacket, but she didn’t have $10 with her. She would have to come back for it.
Anyways, while there, she saw an old friend. This woman had befriended Mary when she first moved to Amherstburg. They had met at garage sales and got along at once. However, it wasn’t long before Mary realized the relationship was a little co-dependent. Mary had to do most of the driving as her new friend was either not well enough to drive or couldn’t get the car. Further, Mary recognized that this person often talked about her other friends in a negative way when they weren’t around to defend themselves. This bothered Mary. In Toronto, Mary had lost a close friend because of her own bad habit of being critical. That is another story! Needless to say, after losing her friend in Toronto after a 16 year relationship Mary was hesitant about getting burned herself. She tried to keep any bad comments to herself about others and resisted being in relationship to murmurers!
As a result of this Mary decided a year or more ago to cut ties with this girl. It had been a hard battle because Mary recognized now that she had always felt “guilty” as if the whole problem was hers. Mary left the store that day and met up Robin at the optometrist. She shared how she felt. What was wonderful about this was that God who had been healing her of guilt now had shown her an actual experience with another person where she had tried to carry the burden of shame and blame. After Mary's discussion with Robin she decided she could only deal with her share of what went wrong. She didn’t need to feel guilty now that they were no longer friends. She could let go of this person and the guilt! Wow, did it feel good. Mary found it very freeing to release the responsibility for guilt she had been carrying around all these years. Mary didn’t know how far God would take it but she hoped He would continue until she desisted in feeling liable for everyone and everything in her life!
Later at home, in the safety and privacy of her bedroom Mary prayed: “O, Lord, thank you for the work you are doing in my heart. Thank you for showing me the needless weight I am carrying around. I give over to you my life. You are Sovereign Lord and the government is now on Your shoulders. I no longer want to carry it. I will trust You and let go. Forgive me for trying to carry all my problems myself. I confess You alone are God and not me. You alone are Lord, Amen”.
As Mary sat back considering this prayer that came after such a restive week she was amazed at God’s gift to her. God had blessed her in more than one way this week. It had been nice not to drive Robin to work, wonderful to sleep in every morning but most of all Mary was thankful to have heard from God. Robin would be back to work on Monday and their routine would get back into place once again. However, one thing was for sure, the amazing God who was always up to something new would continue to surprise her with His loving presence. It was a journey that never ended with Him. No matter what she had been through Mary had always felt His intimacy and affection. How gentle and kind God had shown himself to be yet again showing her this sick thing, guilt, she had burdened herself with. But as always in the past Mary knew this was a new day with God. All her guilt and shame God had taken to the cross for her. She didn’t have to suffer with it anymore. Mary smiled to herself feeling yet a little bit freer to face a new day and new possibilities with the New Year not far away.